I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
