I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
