she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
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