I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
