Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
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