I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
