We got so high we made milksteak
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
