he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
organizing the empties. That sober.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Also, beer. Big fan.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
