i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize