Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
