I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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