i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
