im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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