This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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