Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
