So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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