Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
