Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
