The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
