i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
