once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
