if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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