I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
