About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
