six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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