so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
