You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
there was a trapeze. enough said
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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