...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
In America we eat man semen.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
