We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
