bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Randomize
