That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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