where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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