Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
operation have a gay friend backfired
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
