It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
