She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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