I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
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Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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