i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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