About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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