dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Houston, we have a squirter
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
