i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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