is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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