Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
