your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
