She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
