i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
