I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize