Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
