I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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