he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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