i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
