I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
