the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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