is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
