She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
