no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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