Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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