I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
