his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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