I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
