so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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