You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
